MyNation Foundation Forum » Advice » Domestic Violence

Torture / Humiliation / Harassment & Pain

(2 posts)
  • Started 4 years ago by spruk24
  • Latest reply from Adv.Kachave
  1. spruk24
    Member

    Dear Members & Advisory,

    Here is an another story of Cruelty:

    1. I had been married for almost 9 years now with no child. My wife insisted on living separately from day one of marriage and put this as a pre-condition just before everything was finalized. No dowry was exchanged as this being a love marriage and I helped them on every ground since they had to come from outstation to get the marriage solemnized and even took half of the financial burden on myself, as was demanded.

    2. She never maintained cordial relations with my family and neither allowed me to do the same and was finding reasons to have fight with them on some or other pretext. She was a big shopaholic and never allowed me to save anything and then blamed on me for not taking our own home. Whenever I requested her not to be so much extravagant and suggested her to spend the money as per the capacity, she would pass ridiculous remarks of not keeping his wife happy. She was a very temperamental person, one single moment she used to be perfect and just the other moment she would for no rhyme or reason would pick up fight and would also trouble myself especially, if I would mention any incident related to my parents or family. She was a frequent hard drinker and an occasional smoker and even on hard pressing that this could become a health hazard for getting pregnant, she did not care to listen and continued with the same. I took every care of her and took her to various places for excursion and spent money on touring beyond my means as she was very fond of travelling and would quite often insist on taking her for holidays and outings.

    3. Even I got her admitted for the B.Ed. course, spent a lot of money on the fee, books, etc but she left it in between saying that Teacher is not something she would like to become and glamour and night life is what she belonged to and then opted to work in a call centre. We were not able to lead a family life for which I got her operated for an Ovarian Endometriosis. The same was not conveyed to the family member as the she demanded so as she never wanted to highlight her negatives to anyone.

    4. Two cases of adultery found, once in 2007 and other in 2011. In the first one, when questioned, she portrayed that her boss was interested in her and that she would like to resign and make him exposed in the organization as he is a womanizer and tries to trap the lady colleagues by his charms but all that was not true. However, keeping in view and with due respect to what she had conveyed, she did not feel the dire need to leave the job. On pressurizing, a formal complaint was made against the said boss with the HR department. I also went to her organization and spoke to their HR department about the said boss and they promised for a strict action, however, after one month, she resigned and joined another organization and to the shock and surprise, she held me responsible for stressing and assassinating her character and that I have tarnished her image and reputation as well as that of her boss due to which she was forced to leave her job. Later, she changed her mobile number to show that she is not in touch with her old affairs and friends in order to throw dust in my eyes, but the same was not the truth.

    5. The next one was during the month of November 2011. This time I discovered an abrupt change in the nature, like always standing right in front of the mirror, dressing up as if she is going to attend a party rather than attending office, there was something more to everything. Wearing new clothes, doing more shopping than regular, more frequently than earlier, and singing and listening to love songs, sitting in dark room. After few days, I caught her red handed with SMS’s, BlackBerry Messengers and calls which proved that she was involved with someone else from another affair, this time it was a client. On enquiring, she confronted that this man was not having good relations with his wife and that he was depressed due to the autistic disorder of his daughter because of which he found an emotional anchor in her and she in turn helped him out emotionally as a friend and slowly and slowly they fell in love with each other. She would receive 100’s of messages in a day, also she was sharing the most personal thoughts with that man and that she was so intimately and deeply involved with this man. However, she apologized and assured that she would not repeat such a mistake again and requested not to disclose about this affair to anyone especially her family as her mother was suffering from cancer and would not be able to take this. As she confided in me and for the first time felt sorry about doing something wrong in life, I again on humanitarian grounds, thought of agreeing with her and forgave her once again, thinking and expecting that she would mend her ways and would act like a faithful, loving and caring wife, but all went in vain as she could not forget the said person and was found lost number of times with acute change in her behaviour, she became more reserve, she refrained from talking with me and avoided me many times. On noticing such a behavioural change and an indifferent attitude I was upset, distressed and embarrassed but still moved on with life and tried to lead a normal life as I thought that with time, things will change. However, to the shock and surprise, she continued with the relationship with the aforesaid person and as usual never bothered about the feelings, sentiments and emotions and continued to see him. On the face of it, she would show as if she is cut-off from that man, but actually she had not and she portrayed that she understands the tender sentiments and emotions. This was a severe blow to my feelings and I recollected each and every thought, my experience with her and gathered a few facts in my mind and realized that I had been mentally tortured and used to the core and selfishly by my own beloved wife. However, I could do nothing, but to wait for a better sense from her and continued with my routine life. After, a few days, there came up a family wedding from the her side, for which she again insisted for buying a pair of gold bangles and again for which I sold off his own Gold Kadha ensuring her happiness and peace at home. Also, I along with my brother-in-law visited the Golden Temple Gurudwara, Amritsar but there was hardly any communication between us and this was another positive step taken by me to patch up with her, whereas it should have been the other way round but nothing seemed to be working between us.

    6. Feeling aggrieved, hurt, upset and cheated, I disclosed the matter to my elder brother and her parents but her parents took no interest in coming and meeting us to resolve the matter, in fact never took this seriously and only her brother kept calling in order to get the hang of the things. Now my family intervened and tried to patch up between both of us, but of no use at all as she was adamant and kept insisting on only one thing that she was depressed and that was the main reason why she fell in love with the person. Though, she expressed apologies but there were no feelings in the same, and it was merely done to overcome the situation.

    7. Several meetings were called between both the families to get things patched up but there was hardly any change in her temperament. My Father-in-law came to stay with us to understand the psyche of her and later opted to take her to her parental home to create space between us and I went for an official tour to Mumbai. On returning, they came without informing and since I was sleeping due to the fatigue and tiredness they thought that I was not opening the door purposely and tried to make a forceful entry in the home, bashed me and collected all the neighbours, creating a lot of scene. Finally, I moved out to my brother’s place and she along with her parents stayed in our house. Only a week had passed and they decided to move back to her parental home and took away all the gold, cash, certificates and all the important papers with them and left the keys with a neighbouring aunty.

    8. Later, she called in and said that she would never come back and now me and my family members should be ready for going to jail as she will get them implicated in false criminal cases. She further added that she would lie to her parents and relatives that she was physically and mentally tortured, maltreated and humiliated by me and my family members for bringing less dowry and making un-necessary demands for dowry. She clearly said that now she would be going to women cell and showing the women power as the law is always supportive to women etc. She further threatened of dire consequences and warned me for of getting me and my family behind the bars and seeing in the court. Later, several threaten calls were received from her and her family members.

    9. Now, she has filed a false, frivolous, mischievous, derogatory and defamatory complaint against me and my family members under Section 12 of the Protection of Women From Domestic Violence Act, 2005 in the Court of Meerut and also filed an application under Section 125 of the Code of Criminal Procedure for maintenance being given along with a case in the Parivar Paramarsh Kendra.

    10. I have been tortured beyond any human beings endurance by the cruel acts and have amounted to unbearable torture, humiliation, harassment and pain that I am unable to express in words and have lost all interest in life. Her family members also have made my life miserable by their constant threats and harassment. She has made my life a living nightmare and worst than **** and I have lost the zest and zeal to live as I am living under the constant threat and tension that she would go to any extent. She does not have any love or affection towards me and my family and that the she will continue to harass, blackmail, defame and humiliate beyond words to express. Therefore, by contacting your organization and intimating you about all the painful conditions, I have undergone through in, for most of my married life.

    Note : I have just filed a Divorce Petition on cruelty ground just s few days back.

    I want your suggestions and help on the below questions:

    • How to tackle Pariwar Paramarsh Kendra? What are its legal impacts?
    • As far as I understand, cases from PPK authorities can only be filed before you file a legal case, however in my case this was filed this in the last! Is it true and how can I safeguard myself?
    • Since I have life threats, should I attend dates? What is the best methodology to attend and ensure that nothing turns wrong with me in case I do not attend?
    • Both the cases of Domestic Violence and Maintenance has the same false petition, how can they demand same things/maintenance from both the courts?
    • Can Human Rights Commission or any other NGO help me in this crisis?
    • What should be the best methodology to deal with such a crisis?

    Kindly Help!

    Posted 4 years ago #
  2. Adv.Kachave
    Moderator

    It will be better to you to file divorce petition & get freed. You have chances to file petition for quashing criminal proceedings before the Honorable High Court.
    http://www.jaihindlegal.com 9821387099, 9224799546.

    Adv.Ramchandra N.Kachave
    98, 2nd floor, Esplanade Mansion,Kala Ghoda, Near City Civil Sessions Court,
    Mumbai-4000023
    Posted 4 years ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply

You must log in to post.