MyNation Foundation Forum » Advice » 498A

Victim of Harassment by my inlaws

(11 posts)
  1. angelas
    Member

    I got married in May 2011, and since the beginning, my wife has been answering back to my family and has been creating issues on small things.

    In January 2012, she left the house at night on a small fight and threatened to put my mother in jail. we went to pick her up the next day after her dad threatened to ruin our reputation in the society in we did not, but then he said she is not well and that she will come after few days. then her parents and her relatives came to our place and took all her belongings after another 3 days. after 3 weeks, her dad called us and asked us to pick her up to which we said that since she left the house on her own, she should come back on her own as well. her parents then came to our place, and shouted abuses at us and in our locality that i sleep with my mother (we have a video footage of the same) and we had taken 30 lakhs from them.

    In feb, she lodged a complaint in the women cell, i met her a day before the hearing and she took her complaint back on the pretext that i will rent a flat and will separate with her.

    After a few weeks, i met her alone and when i dropped her back in the parking where her car was parked, i got a call from my father saying that her father had called him up and that she said that i tortured her mentally and assasinated her character and that she will commit a suiccide and that her car can be picked up from the parking.

    i went in the parking, her dad and relatives stopped by car, abused me, called the cops, my wife did not attend any calls for 3 hours, then she called me saying that she will commit a suicide and wants to live with me and blah blah.. on much persuasion, she told me where she is and i went with the cops and she was sitting in the car with a knife and had not done anything. when we came back to the police station, her dad in her statement wrote that he had got her daughter married with all the articles, things, gifts etc and dowry that the guys family asked for and have been troubling since the first month of marriage, which we did not and the inspector made me and my family sign on this even without letting us read the thing, we then reported the matter to the dcp in writing after a few days. Also her father was repeatedly saying that we had taken dowry before, and that there is no demand from our side now. (he had given a 3 lakh for furniture, my and my father's suits and my moms sarees for marriage etc and also asked us to get a lehenga to her from the same for the wedding day).

    Now she has again gone to the women cell saying that the previous decision to separate in a flat was not implemented, what should i do ? I feel to tortured, i also have audio clips of them saying that we had never demanded dowry when we went to pick her up in Jan.

    PLEASE HELP.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  2. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    Do you want her not ?
    if you want her then dance as she says.
    if you are forced to divorce her because of her attitude and her relatives behavior, then take legal action.
    im sure they will file dowry case on you, to blackmail. so if they have given any dowry then file dowry case on them, before they file same case on you. [ Ref : http://mynation.net/laws/bare-acts/dowry/dp3.htm ]
    and also ask you mother to file Domestic violence on her [ Ref : http://mynation.net/laws/bare-acts/pwdva/pwdva.htm ]

    Posted 5 years ago #
  3. angelas
    Member

    thanks for the reply. I don't want her at all as i don't want to be tortured for the rest of my life.

    We did not ask for the money ever so there is no question of them having any proofs that we demanded dowry, whereas we have audio clips to prove our innocence.

    a lawyer whom we visited recently suggested not to go in for legal cases at this time and to speak to my wife to settle this amicably, will this be the right approach ? he also suggested that the FIR cannot be stopped in any case, so filing for divorce etc will also not help in this case.

    what are the pros and cons if i dont file a dowry case and domestic violence as suggested by you now ? please let me know.

    also what should be my approach in the women cell and what should i give in my statement ? should i just hand over the complaint given to the dcp instead ? someone suggested i should also give a transcript of one of the recording i have so that the dowry cell cops will also think twice before making a case.

    also, if i file for defamation since they accused me of sleeping with my mother, will it help ? how much time does it take to solve a defamation case and how much damage recovery can i expect ?

    please suggest.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  4. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    if she file Dowry case saying they gave dowry and took then its burdon on you to prove it you did not demanded any dowry. Even she file False case
    if you file they gave dowry without demand, they will be charged under DP3 and you will not be charged for taking it. as you are aggrieved person (read DP7(3) option)

    who ever file case 1st they are right, and for a women its bonus point
    do not file Divorce, send lawyer notice then file RCR, so you can show later in divorce that you tried to save your marriage.
    other whatever proofs men have no judge is checking or asking nor beleive in you.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  5. vinayak
    Moderator

    Cool guitarist :

    I pity you completely. I pity your mom.

    However there are some practical issues / decisions that have to be taken

    1. What do you want to do ? Live with this wife and be her henpecked hubby and daily to run after police or father in law ? or no ?

    - YES / NO

    2. IF not, do you have the guts to fight or do you want "easy" solutions

    - ready to fight / easy solutions ?

    3. IF you want "easy" solutions ... I am sorry I have NONE

    - up to this point please write clear answers and short answers please .
    We do NOT want large kahanis up to this point... just brief statements and clarity

    4. If you are ready to fight, and ONLY if you are ready to fight , let us start from the beginning

    IF you are ready to fight
    ---------------------------------------------

    4.1. This is complete injustice. Utter nonsense.

    4.2. Almost all men and families try ALL sort of mediation / falling at the wife's feet etc etc and ONLY when **** really hits the ceiling they look for help boards like this ... so we can imagine where are comming from

    4.3. IF you are ready to fight , please know / understand there are at least 2.. 3 lakh men AT PRESENT fighting the same **** / in the same **** as you are . With families and all this will be at least 10 lakhs people IN **** now. If you take the last 15 year history the number is FAR more ..... so you are NOT alone

    4.4. WHY this nonsense now ? : Because 100s of 1000s of men did NOT fight IN THE PAST the things have got to this point (****I am talking of 25 ..30 years ago... men did NOT fight****)

    4.5. ***Things are improving a lot **** still we have to fight back ..

    4.6. IF you are ready to fight , You have come to one of the BEST self help sites run by Dr. D Souza ...there is sea of knowledge developed over the last 15 or so years by Dr. D souza and other victims here and we are ready to share this experience / knowledge with you for FREE even though we do NOT know you or have NOT seen your face

    4.7. We do NOT trust lawyers much. That is my experience. That is the general experience.... We have nothing against a particular individual...but we have found self help to be much much more effective and crisp. We use lawyers only when needed and treat them professionally

    4.8. IF you are ready to fight, start with the basics :
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    - what is the complaint at the Women's cell ?

    - do you have a copy of the complaint ? IF not ask the women cell for the same ... IF they do NOT give come back here

    - IF you have a copy of the complaint mention the key points here / key complaints

    - is there any other case other than the women's cell case ? divorce case ? DV case etc etc

    - which city / state is this going on ??

    - Is your wife educated ?

    - is your wife employed ?

    - is she claiming maintenance ?

    ..... other important points

    regards

    Vinayak

    Regards
    Vinayak
    Posted 5 years ago #
  6. angelas
    Member

    Thanks a lot Vinay and Mr Disouza.

    I WANT TO FIGHT, although my wife and her dad will be satisfied if i separate with her, but i don't want her in my life anymore. Below are the answers to the questions:

    - what is the complaint at the Women's cell ? (the IO did not tell me as she took the complaint back, but i could manage to read about dowry and mental and physical harassment)

    - do you have a copy of the complaint ? IF not ask the women cell for the same ... IF they do NOT give come back here (i asked for the copy in feb but the IO said that he will give it in the next hearing. now i have the hearing next week.)

    - IF you have a copy of the complaint mention the key points here / key complaints

    - is there any other case other than the women's cell case ? divorce case ? DV case etc etc (NO)

    - which city / state is this going on ?? (DELHI)

    - Is your wife educated ? (YES, BA english from correspondence, and advance diploma in french)

    - is your wife employed ? (NO, she used to give private tutions earlier)

    - is she claiming maintenance ? (NOT YET, THERE ARE NO OTHER CASES AS OF NOW)

    Thanks.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  7. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    If you are ready to fight your case; you have to collect all the supporting clues/proofs of her harassment.
    write it down in clear text, submit it to police/mediation cell whenever they require and get it signed by them as they received it. it will always help in future fight.
    Audio/video proofs always help
    try to tape if they call
    voice record secretly whenever you meet her/her people/women cell/police dialogues as they alway try to force you to admit for her demands.
    read about dowry law/ipc/crpc here http://mynation.net/laws/
    and judgments http://mynation.net/docs/sitemap/ to fight maintenance / divorce etc which you can use as citations.
    and ask us if you any doubt.
    we are always here alive online.
    BE BRAVE - we are with you.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  8. angelas
    Member

    thanks.

    one woman called me today from an ngo from tamil nadu but did not tell me the name of her organization at all. she talked me into telling all the details of the case to her since i initially thought she is calling from CAW cell. what should i do please ? i have told her my stand in women cell and i have the hearing next week.

    what do u suggest i should say in the women cell ?

    Posted 5 years ago #
  9. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    who knows she may be from her side SPY and she is recording all what you said.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  10. jb123
    Member

    ok i got to know who that woman was who called, she was a friend of mine trying to resolve the issue at her end. so no harm done.

    also i had the date in the women cell today and my father in law and wife behaved like psychos. when i showed a video to the IO in which they had screamed that i sleep with my mom, my father in faw said that he will prove it and my wife said that this is the reason why my mom is not letting me shift with her in a separate flat. lolz, i obviously said why do they want me to live with her if this is true, anyhow a lot of screaming etc happened from their side.

    now I have to give to the IO in writing about what problems i had in the marriage, and my mateernal uncle needs to give how he tried to mediate to save this marriage.

    any suggestions as to wahat should be written etc will be highly appreciated.

    regards.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  11. ADMIN
    Key Master

    AS Son its your duty to look after your old parents; but now she want to live with her Father, that means she is sleeping with her Father...? ask IO about it. and also ask IO to whatever they said in writting so your mother can file criminal case against them.

    498A CRUSADER
    MYNATION.NET
    SUPARI.ORG
    Posted 5 years ago #

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