MyNation Foundation Forum » Advice » 498A

Had some argument with wife and she went to her parents Home

(33 posts)
  • Started 5 years ago by Abhishek_1980
  • Latest reply from Dr.Dsouza
  1. Abhishek_1980

    My wife and me had some arguments on 16th Feb, she abused a lot and i slapped her, My father in law called her and ask her to lodge a compalaint againts me. she did a NC againts me and put my parents name, sister name for no reason. police office told me that they are planning to lodge a 498A agians me and my parents and my sister too. I am staying in mumbai since last 2 years with my wife only. my parents are staying at chattisgarh and my sister(married)'s family are staying in Hajipur(Bihar). Police officer told me to book a flight ticket and send her to their parents home, she went with my kid(One year old) on 17th. I got a call from one family mediator that they made some false medical certificate that i have beaten her a lot. at the time on NC in mumbai she is physically sounds good and police nevers ask for medical examination. my father in law a Doctor(Vetrionary) he cound arrange.Family mediator also told me that My wife has allready filled a FIR againts me i dont know the charges in Mohaniya(Bihar) police station.
    Please suggest what should i do?
    thanks in advance

    Posted 5 years ago #
  2. Dr.Dsouza

    Contact our helpline in Borivli and mulund from our contact us page.
    Never admit that you beat her,if you beat she would have admited to hospital, but she is ok, that mean it was just tussle between husband and wife.
    let her bring false certificate, thats plus point to you.
    givin in writting to police that she left your house her own and get it stampped by them.
    send a lawyer notice to come and join you, let see what she answer. that shows you want her back, it will help you in divorce if she is planning.
    rest talk to our members they will guide you.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  3. Abhishek_1980

    please could you post link here for contact us page.

    Posted 5 years ago #

    HelpLine Numbers.

    All India HelpLine Numbers : 080-65334135 ( Bangalore )

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    Posted 5 years ago #
  5. Abhishek_1980

    Acctully Police officer supports me at the time of filing Nc and after that he asked me to submit one application. I have submitted one application to the police station as below:

    Sub: Regarding harassment by my wife and in-laws.
    Respected Sir,
    On 16th Feb 2012 I had verbal argument with my wife in the morning and she has filed a NC against me at Police station on same date afternoon. I started getting threatening calls from my in-laws since then (NC filed by me against my in-laws on same date evening). Since that date, my in-laws have been harassing me through family mediator and threatening to file false complaints against me (like domestic violence, and IPC 498A) in police station. They have been also threatening, my parents, my sister and her husband on phone, who live in (other place) and have been using abusive language.
    Below are the details about the NC and the incident.
    I got married (arrange) on Feb-2010 at Bihar, We (My wife and I) are staying together in Mumbai since April 2010. We blessed with a son on 25th Dec 2010. Since my marriage my sister in law (Residing in Gorakhpur) and my father in law have been interfering in most of our family matters a lot. Because of that we (Me and My wife) get in verbal arguments some time. All this while my wife has used abusive language for my parents and to my sister.
    A week ago before the incident on 16th Feb me and my wife decided to celebrate our 2nd marriage anniversary in GOA, we went there on 10th Feb 2012 for three days. During this period my wife was getting a lot of calls from her family members, and she used to speak on phone with them for hours .I felt like being alone there, I dint say anything to her on that day, and day after on 11th Feb 2012 I booked one tourist cab to visit south and north GOA, again on this day, she was on call with her sister at most of the time. I was very disappointed but I dint tell or expressed anything to her. After we had dinner at hotel restaurant we went to the room to rest, around 11.30 at night she was again talking on phone loudly in hotel room and because of that my kid started crying, I requested to her to not talk loudly but she told me that go away from this room with the kid, I walked out and trying to make the baby sleep. After some time I went back to room and again she was shouting I requested her to not do so but she dint listen to me. She fought with me a lot and again while kid was crying. I went out alone from room and returned after about an hour at that time she was sleeping.
    Next morning we checked out from the hotel and took the train for Mumbai. Her sister phoned to my father and abused a lot to my father and to my mother for this hotel room incidence. We reached Mumbai on 12th Feb at night. She cooked food and we had dinner together; we were not talking too much to each other because of the above incident.
    On 13th I wanted to avoid any kind of argument that’s why I went to my office early morning and came back at late night. In night she was talking with her sister, while talking she was using very bad words for my Parents. I wanted to avoid any kind of argument so I went out alone from home; I was hoping dinner would be ready when I came back. But my wife gave me excuse that because of the phone calls she could not prepare dinner. I prepared maggie for myself and went to sleep.
    To avoid any arguments I preferred to remain silent and on 14th and 15th I went early to my office and came back late.
    The last Incident in Detail:
    On 16th Feb 2012, because of the election there was holiday in office, I woke up early, in the morning she told me that “she was not going to prepare breakfast if I wanted to eat lunch than I have to wait till 11.30”, I said just OK to that.
    Earlier we had decided to celebrate this year HOLI at my native place.
    Suddenly on this date she started saying that if we go to my native on Holi, my parents would not going to touch their grandson (my kid) they can only see but they will not be going to baby sit him. I remained calm and said OK (I knew she wanted to initiate arguments with me), she also said that “if you promise me then only I will go along with you, otherwise not”. I replied:”OK, but if they will play (baby sit) with him (my kid) then don’t get angry at them, just ask me I will give (My son) back to you, because if you took him back immediately then they will feel bad”. Then she told me that “if that is the case then I will not be going with you”. I said OK to that (as I was trying to remain calm). Then she started to use abusive language against my sister (Hindi equivalent to Prostitute) and bla bla. I could not hear all that and, wanted to get out from home but she came in my way to door, stopping me and started abusing to my parents and me with words like “Namard, Harami”. The kid (My child) started crying because of her loud voice. I asked her to do her work in kitchen and not to shout too much and I went to bed room with my kid as I was trying to make the baby keep quite. She came in front of me again and abusing me and my parents a lot again, I was telling her to keep quite otherwise I will slap you. She spat on my face. I pushed her on bed, then she started attacking me and finally kicked me. I fell down on floor, I got up and tried to keep her quite forcibly so that situation does not escalate. All the while my response was to remain calm as much possible and in my defense.
    Later that day she got a call from her sister and my wife started crying on phone telling her false stories that “I was beating her lot that day”. After that call, I started getting calls from my in laws and they abused me without listening anything from my side, they called to my parents and my sister and abused them also a lot for no reason.
    After some time my father in law called to my wife and told to lodge a complaint to the police. I don’t know how police came to my home and they asked me to take her to the police station; I took her to the police station. My wife lodge a NC against me as my father in law told to my wife. While lodging complaint she talked her father on phone and asked the police officer to put my Parents and sister name in NC for no reason. My father in law asked police officer to send my wife along with kid to Patna by flight as early as possible. I was asked to arrange for flight tickets for them. I booked a flight ticket and she went to her parent’s home on 17th Feb.
    After her departure to Patna, family mediator told me over phone that my in laws have made false medical certificate that My wife has several injuries because of me beating her. It is totally false as she was physically OK when she filed NC against me, my parents and my sister. At that time police officer did not ask for any medical examination as my wife was sound and healthy. I am being threatened through family mediator that my in-laws are going to file (or already filed) IPC 498A complaint against me, my parents and sister.
    I am afraid that what I have been informed by mediator could be true as my father in law is doctor (veterinary) and he might have managed to get false medical certificates through his influence. Family mediator is also insisting me on going to my in-laws home (Patna) and say sorry for things which I have not done.
    If they file 498A against me, it would be totally false case. I am staying in Mumbai only with my wife since last 2 years, my parents and sister stay in Chattisgadh and never interfered in my married life. Also I have never asked for any money to my wife or my in-laws. Also, in India there is culture that daughter’s first delivery happens at her parents’ home and they do it happily. However, her parents refused to do so for the fear of expenses. I am educated enough (MCM from Nagpur University) not feel bad about it as I believe that she is my responsibility since her marriage. So it was my parents who took care of her while delivery as she stayed with them during that period, and I paid for all delivery expenses. After delivery she went to her parent’s home for few months. Again, it was me who was sending her money regularly for expenses while she lived with her parents after delivery (I can show bank statements if needed). For her stay at her parents’ home from Feb 2011 to June 2011, I transferred around to Rs 16000 her bank account for her expenses. Also gave her cash of Rs 7000 when she moved to her parents’ home in Patna from my parent’s home in Chattisgadh.
    So this is a humble request to you that please consider all above points before taking any actions against me if any such 498A complaint is filed against me. I will co-operate during investigation and would reply to any complaint against me legally through my lawyer.


    Please let me know should i submit any other application to the police station?
    or should i send a lawyer notice to come and join me?
    or should i waite for their action?

    Thanks in advance.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  6. Dr.Dsouza

    Whatever you submit to police, on other copy get their stamp and date, so in future it will be useful to you.
    you are sending lawyer notice not to call her back, nor take her back. it just to show you wanted her back and you are doing it in legal way, so you can prove in court tomorrow.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  7. Abhishek_1980

    Another copy of application is with me with stamped “received” and date is mentioned on it.
    Please let me know how I can send the notice?
    Would it need me to go there in person (In session/Family court)?

    Posted 5 years ago #
  8. Dr.Dsouza

    You lawyer will send notice.
    and be ready to face some more legal matters from enemy side once you serve Lawyer notice.

    Posted 5 years ago #
  9. Adv.Kachave

    If you have a small kid, try to settle the dispute, it will be better, otherwise challange whatever allegations are against you. 9821387099, 9224799546

    Adv.Ramchandra N.Kachave
    98, 2nd floor, Esplanade Mansion,Kala Ghoda, Near City Civil Sessions Court,
    Posted 5 years ago #
  10. Abhishek_1980

    I also wanted to settel the dispute but if she already filed the case then what can i do. she told me so many times that she dosent wanted to live with me bla bla.
    I am very much confused what to do. please suggest me?

    Posted 5 years ago #
  11. Abhishek_1980

    Please let me know, if she lodge FIR in Mohaniya (Bihar), then Police of bihar come here to arrest me or Mumbai police will react?

    Posted 5 years ago #
  12. Dr.Dsouza

    get her voice recorded when she says she dosnt want to live with you, it will help you in divorce.
    You cannt stop runaway women, let her go, may be she already found someone. who knows.

    Bihar police has to inform local police if they are coming for you.

    Posted 5 years ago #

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