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(216 posts)
  1. rohand
    Member

    rohan,
    What is your advice to gulati considering it as a TRUE story.
    What she should do now?---------------------------------------------------------------------
    I do not consider her case as genuine because I have seen many such stories which turn out to be something different.

    I would advice her to file cases (without wasting time) for having illigitimate relation and cruelity and child support (with all the proof).--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    As I said, I don't accept it on face value. But, I would support for the child and its financial needs, emotional needs etc. Definately not wife support. Having said that, there should be 50% child custody for the husband; husbands are NOT ATM machines and/or sperm donors. They are fathers.

    she should also acquire qualification and take up good job.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Better if all women do it than extort from their husbands.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  2. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    Divorcee women easily get men to marry;
    Just go out and say im Available, many will follow. i seen in my own office a Divorcee girl married a bachelor(she traped him in her Love trap, when he found out it was too late)

    same here is best example, how pathetic some men are [ Ref : http://mynation.net/abio/pathetic-men/ ]

    When Divorced man want to marry, Girl family will evaluate and gurantee from that man, if that marriage also failed girl will get huge sum of money. that shows todays modern girls family interested in money only.

    Now you know, how many divorced men and women get marry again. no need of any statistics.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  3. humanbeing2
    Member

    educated employable women should not ask for maintenance there is no arguement/debate about it. when you say with exceptions. a woman with nursing child without support has taken a decision not to work for sometime for taking care of child. do you consider her eligible for maintainance.
    she has a legitimate child (from a marriage ) for which she is asking child support. is her husband more responsible for her or his bhabhi with illegitimate relation. is marriage misery/crime for this woman?. adultery is crime for which one should be severly punished when you have a legitimate child. it is question of basic human rights.
    i have asked the question about statistical data to show majority of woman with child have dim chances of remarriage and have to lead a lonely life where as man remarry and move on. separated spouses with child living in separate location will have custody with one parent.

    will you marry a divorcee with a child?? marriage is a commitment not crime.(for both)

    Posted 6 years ago #
  4. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    most men will say NO to marry a women with strings, unless he has one or he did find suitable girl.
    but there are some pathetic men as i wrote in my earlier post. or he has acquired huge sum from previous husband, like Elizabeth tylor

    she has legitimate or illegitimate child, father should be responsible only 50% of child maitenance. only after if women prove that she spend all that 50% on child only. if she cannt handle another 50% let her give child to father, he will employ better women for less than 50% and he will take care also.

    most women take child, coz they want to claim money, keeping child as a RANSOM.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  5. rohand
    Member

    when you say with exceptions. a woman with nursing child without support has taken a decision not to work for sometime for taking care of child. do you consider her eligible for maintainance.----------------------------------------------------------------------- Who asked the woman to take such an irresponsible decision to sit at home and not to work? The woman is not socially, morally or legally obliged to do it. Is the man resigning his job after the birth of his child? NO, then why should the woman resign?

    she has a legitimate child (from a marriage ) for which she is asking child support. is her husband more responsible for her or his bhabhi with illegitimate relation.-----------------------------------------------------------------------
    You are mixing up child support and wife support. They are different. Child support is perfectly fine but you cannot seek wife support in the garb of child support. You are making child support as an excuse to get maintenance.

    is marriage misery/crime for this woman?. ----------------------------------------------------
    Its a crime for men; not for women. That is why men end up paying hefty alimony, maintenance and all laws are screwed against them. Have you heard of women paying alimony and maintenance to men? Where is the equality?

    adultery is crime for which one should be severly punished when you have a legitimate child. it is question of basic human rights.-------------------------------------------------------------

    Agreed. But then how do you assume that the man is having an affair with his bhabhi? Just because the wife says so does not mean that. It may be a different story too.

    i have asked the question about statistical data to show majority of woman with child have dim chances of remarriage and have to lead a lonely life where as man remarry and move on.---------------------------------------------------------------------- You are referring to the society some 50-60 years ago. I personally know many cases where woman with a child has re-married. You are living in an era where widows were ill-treated. This is the 21st century and women who are widows care a **** about it. Dr dsouza has also clarified it.

    separated spouses with child living in separate location will have custody with one parent.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Then why should the woman get the custody? Let the man get it.

    will you marry a divorcee with a child?? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Not if she is a feminist. Not if she is a gold-digger and on an expedition.

    marriage is a commitment not crime.(for both)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- But unfortunately the feminists and the govt. of India think otherwise; they believe that its a commitment only for men and a reward for women.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  6. humanbeing2
    Member

    Do you agree that when the child is woman womb she should take care of her and child inside?that is responsible decision right? and the woman is socially, morally or legally obliged to protect the child instead of aborting it? So why should she not take care of the child when the child is born & needs the mother care. Is he not dependent on mother for nourishment and mother thinks that she socially, morally responsible for the childs welfare in absence of father then? Why should she not get child support and wife support(till specific time/or when she is employed) . Here there is denial of even child support.

    If it is crime for man to pay hefty amount after separation, it is also misery/insecurity for woman+child after separation.

    Here adultery can be proved and it is not merely assumption. What if it is not a different story but true story.

    Even today divorced woman with child does not get remarried. There are very few exception but majority do not get married and remain single all their life with so many challenges and it is very true. Why should you assume all women r alike.

    what if the child does not wish to be with father and father does not want child’s custody. should he child be with mother or abandoned just because mother cannot look after. who will protect the child?

    Do you think jobs are easily available. Then y so many qualified people are unemployed??

    So your answer is YES for a divorced woman with child who is not feminist but has filed genuine cases against injustice and opted for separation from husband with crores worth of property?

    What if man is not committed but his wife is?is the divorce only solution? Then Who should get the child custody?

    Posted 6 years ago #
  7. rohand
    Member

    Do you agree that when the child is woman womb she should take care of her and child inside?that is responsible decision right? -------------------------------------------------------------

    That is for 9 months and even companies give maternity leave for that. There is no need for a mother to resign for it and then use it as an excuse to file alimony/maintenance [read extortion] charges.

    and the woman is socially, morally or legally obliged to protect the child instead of aborting it?---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is not a debate on abortion. Does protection mean resigning from one's job? All companies and organisations provide maternity leave. It is a crime if a company does not give it

    So why should she not take care of the child when the child is born & needs the mother care. Is he not dependent on mother for nourishment and mother thinks that she socially, morally responsible for the childs welfare in absence of father then?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Who says the mother should not take care of the child? But taking care is different from resigning from the job. By the way, all companies provide maternity leave and it usually gets extended a little beyond the date of delivery. Western societies provide for paternity leave too where the father also takes care of the child. Nobody resigns. Don't use child-birth as an excuse for your extortion demands.

    Why should she not get child support and wife support(till specific time/or when she is employed) . Here there is denial of even child support.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nobody is denying child support. But you are using child support as an excuse for getting maintenance for yourself! Give child custody to the man of the house and let him take care. It makes better sense because you are FREE from the worries of taking care of your child. It would be the duty of the man to provide child support and also take care of the kid.

    If it is crime for man to pay hefty amount after separation, it is also misery/insecurity for woman+child after separation.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I wish it was a crime for a man to pay alimony to women, but unfortunately, our laws make it perfectly legal. Infact, our laws have legalised extortion by women in the garb of child support and other such nonsense. Why should it be misery/insecurity for the woman? Is anybody stopping the woman from taking up a job? Societies in the past used to prevent women from taking up a job and alimony was justified then. But now, women get reservation and preference in jobs. Then, why expect man to pay alimony? Women have to take up jobs and fend for themselves. They should not use child-birth as an excuse for extorting money.

    Also, let the woman give child custody to the man so that he can financially support the child. What prevents you from that? Give child custody to the man instead of demanding alimony.

    Here adultery can be proved and it is not merely assumption. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Show me the proof then.

    What if it is not a different story but true story.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What if it is a fabricated story? What if the lady in question has an extra-marital affair and when the family opposes it, she resorts to this defaming campaign by weaving false stories of adultery?

    Even today divorced woman with child does not get remarried. There are very few exception but majority do not get married and remain single all their life with so many challenges and it is very true. Why should you assume all women r alike. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Divorce has become a business now. There is a new term for the modern women who are on a divorce spree. They are called CAREER DIVORCEES. A career divorcee is one who traps men into marriages and then after sometime, files for a divorce with hefty alimony, maintenance and property claims. They have made divorce a career option. Afterall, it is easy money and the best way to gain property. Your reference to divorced women not finding it easy to get remarried is related to traditional societies. I would agree with you if this was the 1970s. After the 1980s, things have changed and westernisation has set in. The very fact that many women walk around in revealing clothes these days shows the extent of change in our society.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  8. rohand
    Member

    what if the child does not wish to be with father and father does not want child’s custody. should he child be with mother or abandoned just because mother cannot look after. who will protect the child?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I am referring to cases in general where the child is not having any preference nor does the father mind taking custody of the child. Each case is different and that is the reason why there are courts and judges to decide on case-to-case basic. But my point is with regard to women demanding alimony/maintenance using child support as an excuse.

    Do you think jobs are easily available. Then y so many qualified people are unemployed??---------------------------------------------------------------------------------There are reservations for women everywhere. There are certain social obligations that all companies and institutions try to fulfill so that they can claim to be pro-women. It is much easier for a woman to find a job in today's feminist society where women's rights have gone through the roof!!!

    So your answer is YES for a divorced woman with child who is not feminist but has filed genuine cases against injustice and opted for separation from husband with crores worth of property?-------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't twist my statements. You asked me whether I had any problems marrying a divorces woman with a child and I gave you my answer. I never said anything about property and alimony. You are putting words into my mouth.

    What if man is not committed but his wife is?is the divorce only solution? Then Who should get the child custody?-------------------------------------------------------------------- There has to be equality of laws with regard to child-custody or alimony or property. If a woman is entitled to alimony and maintenance, the man should also be entitled to alimony and maintenance from the woman.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  9. humanbeing2
    Member

    what is your advice to this SPECIFIC case of Ms. Gulati, assuming what she is say is true? and father/husband neglected/abandoned the child/wife.

    you are wrong with raise in population employment problem has still aggreviated and not only divorced woman but also young unmarried people find it difficult to get job. not all the company have woman favouring hr policy.
    litracy rate has increase and also competition.

    do you consider man fool and woman too intelligent to trap man and have childrens to extort money? is it not concious decision of husband and wife to have a child? Institution of marriage has lost its significance in modern times.

    laws have been formed based of prevailing situation in our country and to maintenance of law and order. time and again it is amended accordingly. criminal punished will not favour law which say he should be punished. there will criticism and favourism.

    if you say this is not a prevailing situation (majority) then prove it?

    Posted 6 years ago #
  10. humanbeing2
    Member

    woman is socially, morally or legally obliged to protect the child in the womb(child support) instead of aborting it . father is also socially morally and legally obliged to give a child support which he is not giving. what she should do??????? so she should give the child custody to father who can give the child support and walk away move on and marry some one else. she is nothing to do with the childs once it is out of the womb??.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  11. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    If a Women think marriage is HOLY and Institution of marriage as you say, she will never leave her husband.
    Both promise at the time of wedding both will be together in "pain and pleasure"
    but for todays women,she says to her husband, take your pain to you give me pleasure only.
    thats the significance of marriage in modern times.
    before we think about man abondon his wife, we have to think why he Abandoned her.
    if he has not taken any money from her or demanded then there is no question of making money.
    he left her, coz she will not leave him but harass him, and if he is togather he will die half age.
    may be she is not giving him marital happiness
    she is doing her responsibility
    she is grumbling and murmuring whole day without reason.
    she fights.
    she is not cooking or cleaning which todays most women call it Slavery (assuming she is house wife)
    she is working still think that husband has to pay all her bills.
    she harass him
    she give threats of filling false cases.
    she has Affair or had Affair
    she told lie at the time of wedding about her
    she hide her past
    she cheated
    bla bla.
    there should be some reason to leave. coz no man will run away from his marriage; unless force him to do.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  12. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    unborn child is not your property to abort. its not yours. and one of our member sent his wife to jail for doing same.
    and in India its CRIME. killing unborn child.
    Child is in your womb that not mean that you can do anyhting.

    Posted 6 years ago #

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