MyNation Foundation Forum » Advice » 498A

Harrasment by Husabnd and In laws

(27 posts)
  • Started 6 years ago by chajyo
  • Latest reply from humanbeing2
  1. chajyo
    Member

    Dear Reader,
    I Got married on 30 Oct 2008 and stayed with my husband and family till 29the Sep 2009, and after that staying with my parents till date. From day one my mother in law and sister in law have given me mental torture for my salary and have taken all the money in cash or self cheque. My husband never asked the money directly but indirectly have always pushed me to give her the money. Initially I thought I should do the adjustments and with time probably things will settle down but didn’t happen. Oct 2009 it was my real sister’s marriage but no one from the family turned up for marriage and while coming to my parents place they didn’t give me any Jewellary or money for the occasion but I had Rs.198 in the Bank account. We tried to sort all the things directly by going there and understanding the real issue but all in vain as my mother in law said all my policies should be in my husband’s name and my father should write on a blank paper if any thing goes wrong with the girl they are only responsible the same but not in laws family. Till date we haven’t taken any legal action against the family but through Bahawalpur Society tried convincing my husband if I with husband can live in a separate house but they didn’t agree for the same. Bahawalpur Society have had the discussion with two of the parties separately and together as well but my in laws didn’t agree for any thing. All my clothes, gifts and gold given to them by my family is till date with them only.

    Thanks and Regards

    Posted 6 years ago #
  2. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    are you asking guidence or just telling what had happend to you.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  3. chajyo
    Member

    i would definitely look for guidance here

    Posted 6 years ago #
  4. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    its better if approch some elder and make them understand.
    but if you approch police, they take your complaint and charge them, but matter will end with Divorce.
    what do you want.
    decide.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  5. humanbeing2
    Member

    from sept 2009 till date you are staying with your parents. it is more than 1.5 years and you also approached village elders for solution to the problems. you seem to be working woman. and can live independently. it is clear that inspite of your efforts there is no improvement in your relation with your husband and inlaws. Even if you stay in the house nothing is going to improve with such attitude(inlaws & husband) you do not have any kids to keep you and your husband connected. there is no use of waiting further. please approach NGO & take legal action immediately. you will get back your belonging for sure. fearing that legal action will result in divorce is of no use. even otherwise with the present situation it is no better than divorce. you are lucky you do not have kids and it is better you look out for a life parter worth for you without wasting time.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  6. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    Feminists always advice you to file case or take legal action.
    hope you are wise enough to handle your situation. if you want to walk out of marriage then you can file for divorce without filing false cases like 498A or DV.
    As you wrote.
    you with your own wish left husband and stayed with your mother.
    you do not have proof that they took your money, or husband demanded, may be you gave yourself but now they say they took.
    and you were working so as per supreme court judgments, working women will not get maintenance.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  7. humanbeing2
    Member

    u wrote:

    "We tried to sort all the things directly by going there and understanding the real issue but all in vain as my mother in law said all my policies should be in my husband’s name and my father should write on a blank paper if any thing goes wrong with the girl they are only responsible the same but not in laws family."

    whom you will nominate for ur policies is your personal decision and you can always consult your husband as he is your life partner. but your MIL cannot put pressure/demand and ask you or your father to sign on blank paper. this type of behaviour shows that they are not accepting you as their own family member and there is a strained relationship and shows cruelity (mental torture) towards you.

    if you have left your matrimonial house unable to bear their harrassment or indifference attitude of your husband then your stand is justified.

    your parents, relatives and neighbours are your witness. send them a letter through your lawyer to return your belonging. see if they will return. also approach NGO attached to police station to see if the matters can be resolved without filing cases. do not file DV 498a unless you are sure you have all the evidence to fight. Do not ask for divorce at the moment. if you are eligible for maintenance as per law you fight for it.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  8. chajyo
    Member

    I didn't leave home but just came for my sister's marriage and that too my father came there and respectfully took me from there with everyone's permission but when they didn't come for marriage definitely we would like to know how long we should continue like this. we have taken all elederly help but of no use but no one is able to convince them for naything. I am surprise being a educated working woman i have to go through situations like this or bear like this then .............

    Posted 6 years ago #
  9. humanbeing2
    Member

    Dear chajyo,

    Did you also made efforts to adjust yourself with the new environment. was your husband good to you after marriage and anytime. has he taken care of you and understood your requirements. what is your answer if you are asked the same questions? are you willing to live without him??

    Posted 6 years ago #
  10. humanbeing2
    Member

    your father must repectfully leave you back after the marriage was over. your home after marriage is your matrimonial home and not parents home. your family is your husbands family now. just because they had not come to marriage does not show they are cruel to you. you & your parents are creating unnessary issues. you should have gone back. conflicts are there in everyhousehold. there are womens who face more severe problems than you. being educated means you are aware about your rights and have maturity to face the situation and solve yourself.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  11. chajyo
    Member

    Yes matrimonial home is girls' home even if husband says girl need the family but not family need girl so any or every type of adjustments shoudl be done from girl's side only. Like mother in law said girl's parents do have any respect so my father shoudl leave me there agiain. please tell me one thing after marriage girl should forget about basic things like sleep, food, clothes, or a pocket money and get a treatment like servant and then if girls' parents say somethign for the betterment of the girl they are are creating problmes ?

    Posted 6 years ago #
  12. humanbeing2
    Member

    after marriage girl should forget about basic things like sleep, food, clothes, or a pocket money and get a treatment like servant - were u deprived of all these things? always??were u treated like a servant?

    your parents or his parents they should talk about betterment of both (you and your husband) as you are also family now.

    Environment for a girl will not be same like your parents house after marriage. you may be darling of your parents but now you are adult and responsible person. you cannot expect the same luxury in your matrimonial home.you can still adjust if your husband really loves you and cares for you. if he is not supportive and does not help in adjusting just talk to him. find out the reason?? is it only for money( as you are working woman) for which he married you??

    Posted 6 years ago #

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