MyNation Foundation Forum » Advice » 498A

Legal Advice about Property

(38 posts)
  • Started 6 years ago by cutekoti
  • Latest reply from cutekoti
  1. cutekoti
    Member

    I am happy to bear the expenses of my family (wife and kids) but not for their parents and relatives. If I dont spend for them, she is threatening to suicide. Names were mutually, agreed. But she might lie that I never consulted her in selecting the names. She is a liar, I have seen in many situations. She is having un predictable behaviour which is more harmful for me. Even, if she did not help me thats fine, but she always harming me, my prestiege, my ethics and tradition. I have booked her an air ticket to travel on 31st Mar 2011. If she would like to come and join, she can come. But, if she is not coming, my money will be wasted. This is the attitude of my wife. Always wastes money, my efforts. I belive this is real cruelty. If she is not coming, she can always, I dont want to return, so book me for only one way. I might have saved some money. But she never does that. Could you please suggest me?

    Posted 6 years ago #
  2. rekha_s
    Member

    if she does not turn up on 31st march, 2011, that will be the end of this marriage. so think twice about implication of your action. think about the kids be nice to her if you want her and kids with you. you cannot have control of another persons behaviour. you cannot force anyone to like or dislike. she will also think in the same direction if you are not cruel towards her.

    Helping parents at difficult times is not wrong. that way you will also win their confidence and gain respect. that does not mean that you are supposed to maintain her parents also. have a healthy conversation with her family. parents will not be forever. money is also not everything. think about the kids future.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  3. cutekoti
    Member

    The main problem is she never expresses her self and she will go to her parents home and start harrassing me. I told them(to her and her parents) before she come and live with me, if they need anything directly ask me instead of asking her. This creates problems in my marital life. I believe they are doing this for the sake of only money. Her parents are well settled and they need our support at all. We will not have any problems if everybody is straight forward. When my in-laws are creating impulses in my marital life and my wife supports them is not good. How can I expect the woman can not respect the Mangal Soothr will respect her husband and take care of kids?
    So, I waiting for her response. Every time, I am waiting for see her next step. What kind of life is this to live like this? We need peaceful life.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  4. rekha_s
    Member

    if you have a communication problem by phone why do you not express your feeling by writing a letter to her. that will also be a proof as an attempts for saving your marriage.
    if her parents are well settled why are they wanting monetary support from you ?
    She may be attached to her parents.may getting all the emotional support she needs. and now she has twins and first delivery she will like to be with parents to manage new borns. ask her if she wants some more time to stay with parents for kids care.
    no parents will willingly want their daughter life ruined atleast after the child birth as they know chances of remarriage is dim. they do not have confident that you will look after their daugher with love and affection. so they have apprehension send with you.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  5. cutekoti
    Member

    I agree with you. I already told her many times in the past. If you have any thing talk to me first and then only u go and inform that to your parents if I did not solve that. But she never follows that. That creates problems for me. After she throwed mangal soothr it self, I went to her parents home (she feel that it is her home). She did not even talked to me. Do you think she loves me? I dont belive so. She did not even wish on my birth day when she was living with me, how do I trust her? She told every body I will kill my husband when I go and stay with him. So, still do I need to bring her back? I belive, when ever she throwed Mangal Soothr everything is over. If I bring her back, she may kill me for the sake of my property or anything she can do for her self to picturise that I did that. Then wat would be scenario in this case?

    Posted 6 years ago #
  6. rekha_s
    Member

    do you love her? what made her throw mangal soothr. why is she hating you so much. why do you still want to live with her? is it for kids? you are not thinking of parting at the moment. does she want to part?

    now that you are a family. you need to make compromises at least for the sake of kids. they need a father too. you cannot make some one love you with so much of hatred. if she is not coming forward you take the intiative. understand she is a new mother and she needs lot of love and caring too and also emotional support. give her some more time and do not force her to come with you till she can manage to take care both the kids herself (if no one is there with you abroad for support). your actions will show your feelings. nothing can be achieved thru force. both of you need to go to the marriage counselors atleast one. she and you will want childs welfare. visit your kids no matter where they are. it is your right.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  7. cutekoti
    Member

    Yes. I do even though she came to me with the bad attitude.She will demand something and if I dont do that, she will try threatening me like this.
    This happened in the past also. There was an incident happened before she throwed mangal soothr. I have presented a gold ring worth of 2G in the past, we could not find that in our house. So, we have asked her to did you take. She said no. Then I said, we can check that later as it is of only 2G and I dont mind if we loose also and I can get u another one if she want. This was the day before the kids naming ceremony day. it was already late around 11:45pm.She demanded me to check in the house in the midnight. I said, we can check later and I left the place. From then she did not take food . The next day, she did not participate much in the namding ceremony and we(me and my wife) have to sit for Puja for the sake of Kids. Suddeenly she then started fighting with me and my parents with no reason saying that we have not provided her food and etc. Infact we have asked her many number of times and many people are there as witness. Again she demanded to check for the ring, I said the same word to wait until finishing the puja and naming ceremony of the kids. Also, we have guests so let them go and then we can check them in the house after they left.

    Suddenly, she thrown the Mangal Soothr and left the place with her parents. She is under her mother's influence and her mother is very greedy about the money even though they are well settled. If she really, dont love then why did she get marry and ruin my life? if there is no belief and love then we can not live together. More ever their family is having very bad reputation killing their husbands. She dont listen to anybody except her mother and she dont want to attend any marriage counselling.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  8. dearverma
    Member

    ok rekha, so u want all the efforts from cutekoti only with his wife not showing an iota of compassion.

    and why should he help her parents financially. clearly they are treating him like a dirt. u mean if one has a child he loses all his self respect and become joru ka gulam.

    "they do not have confident that you will look after their daugher with love and affection."
    **** they want him to come bending on knees and become a henpecked husband. this is very old stategy of girl and her parents using poor kids as a tool to dominate husband.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  9. rekha_s
    Member

    please understand cutekoti does want company of his wife and is also concerned about his kids. he wants amicable solution..

    Posted 6 years ago #
  10. rekha_s
    Member

    you try to talk to her parents and express your grieviances.. if they are well off why are they asking for money. you have to maintain her irrespective whether her expenses are taken care by her parents. that is your responsibility towards your kids and her. tell them about your willingness to be with her and kids. may be they will convince her. you give her time. you do your duty and watch.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  11. cutekoti
    Member

    If the people are that much straight forward, there will not be any problems. Infront of middlemans, they will agree for everything and in the background they will do what ever they want. What if she kills me when she come and live with me?Its like staying with the enemy and I need peace not like frightened every minute of life.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  12. rekha_s
    Member

    she may be thinking in the same direction as you... may be that is why she is not coming...
    is it easy to kill anyone?? what will be the consequences ??if you think her as your enemy then there will come a point of no return. r u prepared for this?

    Posted 6 years ago #

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