MyNation Foundation Forum » Advice » 498A

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(133 posts)
  1. kandarp2001ktv
    Member

    Dr Dsouza,

    Hahahahaaha, I feel really laughing at this victimised Rekha_s as if suppose you find her correct on her blog which is an internet forum and she writes that i have psychological problem as i am imaging on her issue, if we find her correct then also a person who has psychological problems and a person knows this then she should not say him that u r having psychological problems as if she say so then how much big problem she is having in her mind that u can understand from her own words.As she herself imaging and saying to me i am imaging, As on one side she is blogging on this forum against husband and simutenously she says she is not victimised by her husband so she herself dont understand that she is victimised or not. for my case i love my wife but ya i am victimised by her so i am blogging over here. It also correct that she has been manipulated by her own relatives so i have faced divorce, but in her case she strongly beleives that she is not victimised by her husband then why she is on this blog, this only words says her mentality that she is having a big psychological problems and saying me that i have that. I request her that please dont give your opinon on my blog as i am not interested to listen anything from her for my issue or my blog and if she is so annoyed with males then what she is doing in this males blog who are vicitimased by their wives. For womens they have police and government cells where she can loddge compalin and work with them for their betterment, why she comes here to guide us what is good or what is bad. we know if she is good then she must be working with her own issues and not to indulged in anyother persons issues. I think she is really hurted by her husband and may be her husband was correct in his decision to make her happy but this madam might have taken other way round so he gave her divorce now she understands for her child,then why at the time her husband was taking care of her she didnt thought of this situation and for her child now coming here on this blog and giving lectures on how to upbring child after divorce, if she is show much learned then please tell her to manage and write books on this issue and sell it by herself, we may buy it if we like, but we dont want to listen such problems of her. We dont want to hurt her but also we dont her to hurt us for no reason, in this blog only males who are victimised from their wives are allowed to do blogging against such bad laws, so we all should not appreciate such types of ladies who come from somewhere can starts to blog for no reason. For them Girja Vyas is a big lady who works for her issues please let her go there to address her issues over there. If she will not understand then please anyone please pass on her total information to me then let me contact her husband and her child that what she is saying over here.We will make her understand what is right and what is wrong. She is corrsing the limits in blogging here. Evenif we dont want to chat with her or blog on her issues, she comples us to create problems while blogging on our issues. Please pass on her husband's phone numbers and email address so i can send such blogging to him so he can take further action against her.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  2. rekha_s
    Member

    This topic was •Started 1 month ago by smi

    thanks for your advice I need no messanger to pass on information to my husband. I do write to him and also talk to him giving all the info on development of child. so that he also remains part of his upbringing.

    while talking to him and seeing the child interact I feel we are victims of situations and it is too late for our reunion (for the sake of child atleast). I also see the pain of members who are non custodial parents from this forum. this has given a positive move from my side to the father. we are not officially divorced but working on mutual consent divorce and move on in life.

    commitments/obligation/duties which are bound by marriage should be followed by both with understanding/respect and love. look out for amicable solution instead of fighting. enjoy life and live peacefully. man or woman we are humanbeing first.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  3. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    Till child is 5 years old father is not allowed to file custody of child,
    then that custody case dragged for another 5 years just giving date after date, and at the end judge asked why i did`t met child for last 10 years. even i met the child at school and i showed the video that was not recorded in court file.
    later said case was dismissed without any relief.
    then i filed visitation in HC, till custody granted; as mother left child when he was just 2 years old and went abroad.still HC took 2 years to grant just visitation rights only after i deposited my passport in local court.
    thats how indian judiciary stop father to meet his son.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  4. rekha_s
    Member

    Ok till the child is 5 years father is not allowed custody but visitation cannot be denied??
    why did you wait for so long. you should have filed of visitation rights immediately when the child was in the physical custody of mother. custody battle takes long to settle. it goes in favour of mother as you cannot prove she can be cruel to her own child. why blame judiciary? that was your right.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  5. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    i did`t asked for visitation coz she left him when he was just 2 years old and went to Gulf.
    so i wanted custody, as i used to meet him in school without any visitation order.
    dont you think leaving him when he was just 2 years old is cruelty ?
    judiciary knew she left him then why my file was dismissed without any releif.
    if judiciary was just then it would have have visitation rights when i asked custody.
    even HC took 2 years to grant visitation that also after depositing passport.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  6. rekha_s
    Member

    Mr. D souza,

    I have read your autobiography. Child should have been with you if she has left the country permanantly and kept child in the care of her parents instead of giving it biological father ( when you are still in india). but may be because she was financially insecure she might have thought of returning back in a year or so after making some good money to secure childs life.

    Even if he was under grandparents care even for temperory period you should have availed your visitation rights to be connected with the child.

    What has happened in the past you cannot change. you have control on present and future. Now that you have remarried and settled in kuwait. you will have your childrens someday or may be u already have.

    yes it is very painful for a father to remain detached with the son but now it will be more difficult to be connected with the son when you have ur present family. you will have to balance both the relations.

    your son must be 12 years+ and will be mature enough to understand the situation. he will some day come to know about your feeling towards him. or else you write to him a mail. the best what you can do is to give him all the financial help for education and atleast meet him and talk to him when you are india.

    hatred/sympathy/pity for wife will be useless. think about what you can give rather than thinking what you cud have done or given. you will remain a father to the son even if you are remarried.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  7. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    i fight for custody not because im his father but because, how he is raised.
    her parents kept him, just because she send money and they spend it, coz her brothers are useless and dont even send any money to parents. one brother got married not even informing parents.
    they dont even have proper seperate room or sperate table and chair to study. He sit on steps of thier house and write. its a village house having multiple steps.
    i can provide him better guidence as her parents and not even pass 7th.
    i have 4 bedroom lake side villa and better position to raise him with care.
    she comes to india once in 2 years and i come 4 times a year.
    but indian judiciary dont count all that.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  8. rekha_s
    Member

    did you talk to your son whether he would want to live with you (and with new mother)and also you can give him better amenities and comfort. Is he willing to leave his grand parents just because they have not be able to provide him comforts. what is childs decision??

    your ex is still single mother and needs to work to sustain life and give good education to son. she has been getting all the support needed from her parents.. what is wrong in taking parents responsibility. they too are looking after the child. just think they may be poor but still they have provided education to all the childrens including ur ex. Raising the child is also not easy task at the old age.

    there are childrens who also study in empty school premises under the street lights. some childrens like to study where ever they feel comfortable. what if you had provided the separate table and chair to study. it would have been good gesture from your side to get his confidence.

    it makes lot of difference if she calls him and is in contact everyday and visits only twice and you visit 4 times and no contact at all.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  9. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    she hardly call him and talk, most of the time if she calls, talks to mothers about whats cooking and usual women stuff who run away with whom. i know how they gossip.
    that i asked my son from 3rd party.
    same grand parents were not able to send their own sons beyond 7th standered, how can they guide my son..?
    one of their son didt passed 7th and workign as a waiter, who didt even informed parents when he got married.
    another one working as A/c techicians.
    thats what these grand parents done.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  10. rekha_s
    Member

    what about your ex education. is she a graduate? even the childrens should have willingness to study.
    is your son good in studies? are you enquiring about it?

    from what you say it looks like there is no family bonding for whatever the reason.

    Are you still fighting for his custody?is there a chances of you getting custody of child if you have re-married?

    But in present scenario, you are like stranger to your son as you are not having any communication with him. Will he come and stay with you all of sudden if you get the physical custody?

    why don't you try to communicate thru atleast 3rd party and try to build a good healthy relation (atleast now) and give him all the support what he wants as a father. years will pass fighting cases... forget the past and think about the future.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  11. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    thats their ultimate goal to keep me away from him. as long as they keep him away and fil his ears with bad things, he will think im bad. and they know this very well.
    most women never tell abou their father. forget good things about Father.
    coz they know, once children with Father they realise the truth what she and her family told about him.
    i keep on checking everything about my son. Even i get inside information and can predict what they planning in future.
    Even i dont meet him, i know my responsibilitiies. i have his 2 insurences and he is nominee of many things.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  12. rekha_s
    Member

    atleast communicate to him that you are concerned about him and knows reponsbilities towards him.You have made all arrangment to make his life secure eventhough you have remarried. Make him understand the situation so you had to take a such decision. try to fill up the gap of father but do not try to take the mothers space away by telling him how bad she is. for him his mother is struggling to give him good life.

    Connect with him and give him all the assurance that you are there for him alway.

    Posted 6 years ago #

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