MyNation Foundation Forum » Advice » 498A

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(133 posts)
  1. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    sorry to say.
    im in India now, hunting someone in BANGlore

    Posted 6 years ago #
  2. rekha_s
    Member

    Dr welcome back.. All the best!!

    Posted 6 years ago #
  3. dearverma
    Member

    taken his place? place for talking abt equality i guess

    btw i was just scanning ur posts. u didnt mentioned the actual cruelty by ur hubby. everytime u said please read my previous comments. one place u wrote he caught in an indecent act with some minor, left his place, filed for divorce etc. but his doesnt shows any cruelty or cruelty to the extent of 498a. 498a is "supposed" to be used in gravest of circumstances.
    and lets keep aside ur hubby, ur MIL and FIL never caused cruelty towards u. u filed 498a on those old people just because they were helping their son. thats ridiculous.

    and yes even if ur 498a is genuine thank god for ur hubby there are many false 498a in india due to which there is a mindset abt every 498a case of being false.

    if you really want genuine suffering women to be helped advice women not to file false 498a. but for that you'll have to go to a women's forum. but i bet this is the only place where u r writing giving adivces to men to be couteous to their ever demanding wife and still moderator here allows to ur express ur views. try writing in any womens forum abt men's rights u'll be kicked right away. shows the difference.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  4. rekha_s
    Member

    I would definately advice women to fight against injustice so that nobody dares to do any injustice. at the same time not do any injustice to others. women should fight back against injustice, rebuild their life, and live with respect and dignity.

    u wrote: 'try writing in any womens forum abt men's rights u'll be kicked right away" can you stop me from writing??? everybody has right to express their views here and it is moderator who will decide not you. the language you use is also being noted by everyone who views.

    What ever happened(before and after the incident) to me comes under the preview of 498a: . I had tried everything to avoid 498a thinking that whether convicted or acquinted he is a father to the child. why should child be suffering. but the day he took the child and went missing was enough. i could not tolerate further. I have to fight back.

    I could have easily put him in trouble if i wanted. but I thought of future of that girl and also her mother who is a widow struggling for decent living. totally unaware of the happenings.

    if there is no punishment for the crime. everyone will be free to do what ever they want.whether eithical or not. the law and order will prevail in any country thru reward and punishment.

    498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.

    "
    Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.

    Explanation-For the purpose of this section, "cruelty" means-

    (a) Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health whether mental or physical) of the woman; or

    (b) Harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her meet such demand.]

    Posted 6 years ago #
  5. rekha_s
    Member

    "if you really want genuine suffering women to be helped advice women not to file false 498a"

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    Posted 6 years ago #
  6. dearverma
    Member

    dear rekha dont so worked up truth is bitter.
    probably ur husband took away the child because maybe he also thought he cannot live with u further and legally he cannot have the child 24*7.

    u asked maintenance of child from father and allowing him to meet only once in 14 days and putting that as if u have done some huge favour to him. what if ur husband proposes that he'll give the child not 5K but 25K, he'll give him the most luxurious life even if he has to beg, borrow or steal but let the child be with him 24*7 and u get to meet him once every fortnight. will u agree for the sake of child? if u r not breastfeeding him right now what more right do u have over father to keep him.

    a child need mother just for breastfeeding. what extra can a women give him that the father cannot. pity the father who cannot be with his small child. he's crying day in and day out away from the child.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  7. rekha_s
    Member

    any unlawful act is punishable. abducting a child below 5 year even by a father is unlawful act.
    not all woman are furtunate to breastfeed.the laws says the child less than 5 years should be in the custody of mother irrespective whether she breastfeeds or not. unless it is proved it is not in the interest of the child.

    if the child is with father why should she ask for child maintenance and support. will the child who has been with mother 24 * 7 since his birth will go to his father after he/she is above 5 years permanently ?. is it right to send the child permanently to father without willingness of the child who likes to be with mother always but wants spend only weekends with father that too in his mother presence.

    if the job of the father demands extensive travelling will he be able to be with child 24*7. how many father will leave their lucrative jobs for a child when he has parents/relative to support. and now the childs future? will his relative be with him if he leaves the job?

    "he's crying day in and day out away from the child." what about my tears .life without a companion is easy to lead... am i happy to see the child without the father and father in tears. revenge will not do any good to anyone.

    if he/she had commitments outside marriage why should he marry and bring so much pain and misery to everyone. can marriage sustain without trust and faith.??

    Posted 6 years ago #
  8. sgrover1973
    Member

    Child need both the parents. Doesnot matter what is the age of the child. One should not forget there is a supreme power above all the courts and law. No body should be deprived of doing his duty, either mother or father.

    While together, my wife asked me once, if she gets separated and leave the child with me then how often will I allow her to meet him and my reply was spontaneous 'Whenever she will want to, it is your natural right and why permission'. I don't know how these laws have been drafted. How come they know that the child will need his father after 14 days only. I was the one who used to check him all night if he is wet and change/wash diaper in the night when he used to bed-wet. He had never asked his mother to give milk or food whenever I'm around. My wife had never fed fruits to him. She used to curse me that I am spoiling him as the kid is watching tv while I feed him with my hand and he expects the same from her when I'm not around.

    It has been 3 years the kid is with me only and she never bothered to call him up or dropped a greeting on his birthdays. How hard hearted she has become.

    If the father has to travel extinsevely, he is not doing it for fun. It is the demand of the job he is assuming. I had asked my wife the day she starts earning equal to me what I was earning @that time. I would happily like to leave the job and manage the home without maid even. Rekha ji, even killing my ego didn't help.

    It is not that all the mens are seeking relationships outside and all the women are like Sati Savitri or vice versa. It is a give and take relatioinship and both the parties have to contribute. I must say one(both) has to build a habit of giving without expecting in return with positive outlook. The day this happens - no relation can break, what to talk of Husband and wife.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  9. rekha_s
    Member

    any woman/man expects certain things which are important for sustaining marriage. which is basic for any relation which is not by blood. expectation will always be there for women who has left her career her loved ones etc and there will be also expectation from husband that wife will alway obey to his orders or do her duties and take responsbility of his parents etc. when these expectation are not not met then the problems happens. question whether is it practically possible??will that day come??

    why should a misery for a woman who has been faithful to her husband.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  10. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    Rekha;
    for todays women, whatever husband says is ORDER, and they will disobey. coz they forget responsibility towards home.
    if women follow her responsibilities no one will tell her anything.
    Todays Indian laws favor whatever women do is right. thats why there is 10 fold in divorce. and women is not read to compromise, she always think man has to compromise as she says(prompted by her mother)
    it is not only women is faithfull most indian men are also faithfull to his wife, but what he will get in return...?

    Posted 6 years ago #
  11. sgrover1973
    Member

    Absolutely Right Doc.

    If someone is aware about his/her duties and fulfilling the same there is no need for anyone to poke his nose. There might be some suggestions to improve which are required everywhere whether you are in job or elsewhere.

    Now the people have forgotten that before expecting some thing from the other, one should do his/her part first. You sow first and after lot of labout a good crop is expected. In old days the bride was given the keys of the home once she had proved herself to able to manage the home, after toiling day and night while serving the entire family as a part of the same family. Hence the base of the relationship was very strong. But these days the girls start expecting half the share of his husband's belonging very next day of the marriage and even before.

    There is no denial that the Husband has to maintain her wife. What if the needs are not justified. She nags him day and night for one reason or the other and most of the time its her ill thoughts about the family of the Husband. How can she expect that she has now become the master of the male counterpart and he should forget everything once got married. This is the droconian Hindu Marriage Act. Where meaning of the family have been distorted where only wife and children are included. Thats why the joint families are hard to hear.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  12. dearverma
    Member

    i still didnt get my answer
    if ur husband proposes that he'll give the child not 5K but 25K, he'll give him the most luxurious life even if he has to beg, borrow or steal but let the child be with him 24*7 and u get to meet him once every fortnight. will u agree for the sake of child?

    u said "the laws says the child less than 5 years should be in the custody of mother " is this u answer. can u tell me the basis of this law. can u tell me if this law is gender neutral. what extra does a women gives that a man cannot besides breastfeeding. y this stupid law. after 5 years what are the chances the baby will come to father after being poisoned minded by the egoistic mother.

    and then leave aside law does anything prevents u giving custody of child to father if he gives the above proposition. isnt this in more interest of child than getting paltry maintenance amount from father.
    please be specific this time in answering.

    Posted 6 years ago #

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