MyNation Foundation Forum » Advice » 498A

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(133 posts)
  1. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    so in your district how many women burnt to death because of Dowry demand. ?
    I have`t heard single such report in last 30 years or so.
    but i seen women run away next day of marriage with her lovers.
    Women who killed her husband with the help of her Lover. ; these are everyday stories burnt to death may one in million, for whatever reason she may be died but her family relate it to Dowry demand.

    as you wrote "most of the girls do not wish to stay with in- laws because of fear or insecurity" but as per me they dont want to stay coz she cannt control and manipute her husband, and when husband goes to work she do not want someone to watch over her what she do, whom she meet.
    for ages all women used to saty with in laws and in laws did`t butcherd them for meat. and there was hardly any divorce, this only started after all these women centric laws came.
    its nothing about peace of mind, or you mean to say so far indian women had no peace of mind ?
    if women is family oriented and want her marriage to be successful she can stay anywhere. todays most of the women marry for part time, as they know husband is just a ATM machine
    and because of gender biased laws,
    Indian Women can reap where they dont saw.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  2. smi
    Member

    You are very much biased doctor,
    abusing/ torturing/ harassing women for dowry is there all over India. In fact Mangalore also was in news for dowry harassment couple of weeks back. Unfortunately I’m not able to trace that news. I will get back to you with more information soon.
    I have seen lot of Men, not being loyal to their wife. Men too desert their wives because they found someone else. In olden day in India men used ( our Kings too) to have more than one wife. I bet if survey is conducted on this, Indian women will definitely win in loyalty. There are more Men deserting their wives than women deserting or running away from their husbands.
    I can give you the example of my maid servant her husband deserted her after she had two kids because he found one more women and he does not support her in any ways. She works in 6 housed from morning 6am to 2 pm and earns Rs 5000. She takes care of her children who are studding in English medium school.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  3. smi
    Member

    I got it finally.

    read this please.

    http://www.mangalorean.com/news.php?newstype=broadcast&broadcastid=164165

    Posted 6 years ago #
  4. lawvictim
    Member


    Posted 6 years ago #
  5. crkannan
    Member

    A man cannot live with dowry alone except in very very rare cases in India. A woman cannot live with alimony alone except in very very rare caes even in Canada.I am not saying that a woman must be tortured. But I would like 498a to be abolished. A woman can divorce her husband if she does not like her husband for whatever reason. But she must think several times before putting her husband and his family in jail u/s 498a. The whole society can be blamed for a woman`s problem like the police, politicians, lawyers, working environment, lack of equality, people who arrange marriages, and so on. It is incorrect just to punish a husband alone and frighten him. Women will realize once they learn to be independent that alimony and dowry and even divorce are minor issues for their happiness. 498a will only increase the existing problems. If women demand more and more equality, divorces will increase. Sooner or later India will have to adopt no fault divorce system and a mechanism to make divorce easier.

    If all/many men are arrested u/s 498a, there will be a revolution in India.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  6. smi
    Member

    crkannan,

    Dont you think people who are torturing the women for dowry should be punished? why should women let go her husband/ family if they have tortured her.

    If your sisters is victim of dowry harassment and if her husband and family brutally torture her, will you leave them just like that?

    Posted 6 years ago #
  7. crkannan
    Member

    I never had a sister or a daughter. But I had a mother who was tortured by my grand mother for a diamond necklace and because she did not bring enough money. My mother had lost both her parents at a young age.My mother never got along with her mother in law. My mother died 22 years back. My grand mother died 1 year back. My grand mother used to write letters to every body that my mother will leave my father after my father became blind. But after my mother died my grand mother never came to meet my father. my grand mother said that my mother split father and mother. But still the diamond necklace dowry was a minor issue compared to my fathers blindness and the general wickedness of my grand mother. But towards the end things were not so bad.

    What sort of punishment do you want to give to your husband. Do you want your husband to be beaten by 20 women and men police. Do you want to destroy his career. Do you want to him to lose all his property and become a beggar. Police station in india is a very scary place.

    Why do you want to give dowry in the first place. Why do you put up with torture for a long time. do women like being tortured. Is divorce not better than 498a. After all he has been your husband. He deserves a special traetment compared to other men. so why not forget and let live.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  8. crkannan
    Member


    Posted 6 years ago #
  9. sk_jha95
    Member

    CrKannan, Sorry to learn about your mother. Point here it is not that one full gender is evil. Some Men torture wife and vice versa. Your mother (a lady) was tortured by your Grand Mother (another Lady). So it is also not pt. that only male torture females.
    In many a case 498A is filed only to harass husbands. Everyone (males & females) wants a good family life and decent, understanding partners. Most of problems happen becuz of EGO.
    If there is lack of understanding and thrust it is better to separate out, but then questions comes about ALIMONY. Women think that is their right and then stalemate comes and many a cases 498A/ DV etc are filed only to extract maximum out of husband or to bulldoze husband to accept all conditions for living together or separation.
    I totally agree that there should not be any dowry involved in marriage and their should be proper education for girls. But that should be done to stand on their feet. Till 498A, DV/ CrPc 125, Dowry are in the society thinking of equality is mirage only. Thanks

    Posted 6 years ago #
  10. crkannan
    Member

    Who ever invented this section 498a and the word dowry. This is the most silliest Act. And some persons want this Act to be made gender neutral. Misuse of any law cannot be prevented beyond a point. If this law is strictly followed and made gender neutral, the whole world will go to jail.

    This law will die a natural death once some lawyers, policemen, judges, politicians are directly affected by this law.

    I am not able to see my son because of this law. My wife and mother in law have been threatening to go to the police for the last 7 years. But am I not being tortured when my son is not sent to me even for a vacation. My mother in law says that women have become powerful after this law and her husbands death. My brother in law told me that my father in law used to torture my mother in law, pull her by the hair and went to cut her or something. Seeing all these things he says that he is trying to treat his wife nicely.My father in law was a poor man. But his sons are reasonably well to do. My mother in law is so happy that her husband is dead. It would have been better if my mother in law and father in law had divorced.

    Why should i be punished because the previous generation did something wrong.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  11. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    smi;
    It look yellow those who has yellow fever, hope you hears this say.
    YES in biased because i seen more women misuse dowry law than used it.
    i said " in your district how many women burnt to death because of Dowry demand. ?" but unfortunatly you gave me link of women who shot herself.
    its others to judge who is biased.
    You gave your maids example.
    think, if you want to buy something and you dont find it one one shop, what you will do...?
    you go to other shop right ?
    so, why your maid husband went to other women....? coz he did`t found what he wanted. or she was not giving what he wanted. and also other owmen has no problem with him. and other women is responsible to steal other owmen husband.
    but you blamed only your maids husband
    tell me who is biased now.?

    Posted 6 years ago #
  12. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    smi;
    I am sure you are not reading what this site mostly say. it nowhere say, law should not punish those who harass women for dowry.
    i repeat again in one sentence.
    There should be punishment for those who demand dowry,Dowry giver and mis use dowry law.

    and please find remedy for yellow fever here http://mynation.net/tips/

    Posted 6 years ago #

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