MyNation Foundation Forum » Advice » 498A

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To all the member

(133 posts)
  1. crkannan
    Member

    You may be justified if the police station in India is a mild place which gives women protection and prevents or warns men from commiting domestic voilence. I do not write much in this forum. But I saw a video today where two men in Chennai were beaten by police, insulted and beaten by twenty lawyers or something. They have not recovered from the shock. The case has been going on for 10 years. They have lost all their money. Do you want to do this to your husband and do you expect to live with him afterwards! After divorce you can do all these things since he means nothing to you. But after divorce why should a husband torture or have anything to do with his wife.

    Canada is not a land of roses for men or women. Everybody does not have millions of dollars. There is recession and both men and women lose jobs. A man cannot live with dowry alone unless the amount is very huge. I am sure not many father in laws are super rich in India to support a husband for life. A woman cannot live with alimony alone unless the man is super rich even in Canada. But women start working and alimony may help them to get on their feet.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  2. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    smi.
    you wrote " If 498 A so serious why do ppl still demand dowry during the marriage? "
    i have one question, can you show me one news report per day in bangalore,that women complained for demanding dowry during her marriage. may be there 100+ wedding take place in bangalore right ?

    Please one such report.

    matter of fact no women report such dowry demand, at the time of marriage that stridhan, only when marriage is on the brink of Divorce stridhan turn Dowry. truth is girl family want to despose thier daughter at any cost. thats not the fault of her husband.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  3. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    smi;
    You think all women die because of 498A ?
    some women comitte suicide when husband caught her with her parmor too; do you count that also as 498A ?

    i request you to read this http://mynation.net/study-report-498a.htm before posting next comment.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  4. crkannan
    Member

    There is a great deal of hypocrisy. We are assuming that there can be a problem in marriage only because of dowry. In my opinion dowry is a gift in most cases. But a marriage can fail for a millions of reasons. We can`t have millions of acts for all these millions of reasons. That is why it is a wasteful exercise to prove fault in small matrimonial disputes. May be that is why western countries adopted a no fault system of divorce. Murder is a crime. But if everybody keeps murdering everybody every day, there cannot be enough jails to punish all the murderers. Bribery is punishable. But if everybody takes bribes frequently, the law cannot punish everyone. If there are millions of cases where dowry/gifts are exchanged,everyone cannot be put in jail. But in 498a a few innocent people are put in jail for dowry.

    What prevents a woman from refusing to give dowry. Why should there be a law for this. So 498a must be abolished, in my opinion.

    It is an assumption that people who dont divorce or people who dont file a complaint u/s 498a are happy couples.

    I am not saying women must be tortured. I am saying a no fault system of divorce is better than 498a.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  5. smi
    Member

    Dear Dr Dsouza and other members
    Dowry is definitely gift. But it should not be demand. Now a day’s every parents love their children equally and try their level best to make them Independent and well settled. Parents don’t dispose their daughters, they get them married to see them happily married. They do every possible things to see them happy.

    If anyone harasses wife or daughter -in -law for dowry they should be definitely punished. At the same time I strongly oppose misuse of 498a.

    Dr Dsouza I have read your story. May be because of what you have gone thorough you must be hating all the women who files 498a. But at the same time think of every women who has been harassed, abused and tortured because of dowry. As one more member said what if your own sister or daughter is victim of dowry harassment.

    I have met/ seen many women who have rejected proposals because the guys side demanded dowry. Check the below link of latest one.

    http://www.unbconnect.com/component/news/task-show/id-39756
    http://www.expressindia.com/news/fullstory.php?newsid=49590

    One of my best friend was in relationship with a guy for 5 years. When they wanted to get married guys parents demanded the 20 lac and guy too supported it. Finally after lot of discussion they broke the marriage. I see every day lot of my collogues get married without dowry and they are very happy in their marriage. Now a day’s even girls prefer to work, and they financially support their husbands.

    Dr Dsouza you uses very abusive words. Pls don’t jump in to the conclusion. Think before you write. Every 498a is not false.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  6. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    Because of Feminists Indian Law makers making gender biased laws, and Women organsations and commissions encourgae women to file false case, so they can show more satistics to get funds from Government and international bodies. such laws are bread n butter for these women organisations. but when women is divorced no organisations are coming forward to help her. sooner or later wise women will understand this and revolt(hopefully) as of now judiciary already realised there is misuse of such laws and even police started to suspect even real victims of dowry demand.

    it is said "Women dig their own grave" let them misuse, and real victim will pay the price.

    MyNation Foundation suggested many amendments in 2005 [ Ref : http://mynation.net/proposal.htm ] They asked only one point to add thats punishment for misuser of 498a. but NCW/WCD opposed it coz they want to scot free even after misusing and robing husband.

    India never make gender equal laws like this [ http://mynation.net/mhact.htm ] LAWS OF THE UNITED KINGDOM
    MATRIMONIAL HOMES ACT 1967 , other countries says spouse instead wife/women as in India.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  7. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    still my question unanswered why no girl file case when dowry is demanded at marriage time.

    for some people, asking to punish dowry law misuser is abusive word. i or on this site, no where asked to scrap 498A, we all asked to amend it, and punish the misuser. if anyone says against it then they support misuse.

    I write or on this forum, not because what i have gone through or hate all 498A women, but because i get calls everyday about this misuse for last 12 years,asking help and how women harass them in 498a/child custody/ divorce/DV/maintenance. etc.

    Indian Law and public think only women can be victim of marriage and all men are villains and make laws accordingly there are more men committe suicide than women india because of marital/family problems and not a single law to hear their cry.

    smi, you only said " I strongly oppose misuse of 498a." oppose will not work, whY dont you have guts to say PUNISH MISUSER.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  8. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    smi; we are talking about India, not Bangladesh;
    your story link from Bangla [ http://www.unbconnect.com/component/news/task-show/id-39756 ]
    are you citizen of India or .....!

    Posted 6 years ago #
  9. crkannan
    Member

    Assume a man earns Rs. 20000 per month and his wife also earns Rs. 20000 per month. Does a gift/dowry of Rs. 2 lakhs, is it significant. Will a man marry a woman just to get this Rs. 2 lakhs. I WONT.
    Will a man harass his wife for Rs. 2 lakhs or go to the extent of buring her.

    I do not know. My marriage is 20 years old. i have been seperated from my wife and son for 6 years. But I did sponsor my wife and son to canada and my wife let the visa expire. The emotional damage was there because of seperation. I did not take any dowry. But how to prove it. We have not divorced. I do not know if my wife will file 498a if I go for a divorce and fight for my son. My son told me not to go for a divorce and I will be affected. I have not paid monthly maintenance. But I paid Rs. 8 lakhs for sons education and other expenses.

    Is there a time limit for dowry complaint u/s 498a. My wife wants more money. They say that they could go to the police. I do not have a good income at the moment. The lawyer who mediated is suggesting a mutual consent divorce and pay Rs. 40 lakhs to my wife taking money from my brother in U.S. Sorry to write like this.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  10. Dr.Dsouza
    Member

    crkannan;
    Please post it in seperate thread; so you can followup with same details as this thread is started by smi on different topic.
    or you can join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MyNationFoundation/ and post it there.

    write on what basis you want divorce, has she filled any other case on you. where and when.

    Posted 6 years ago #
  11. lawvictim
    Member

    Humanbeing and smi:
    1. When you say verbal abuse, women are very smart at that, who is accountable for their verbal abuse. Ifr husband says "NO" to their inexplicable demands, he is considered abusive when the wives are nagging their husbands, day and night, what will you call IT? I think this should be called as mild disputes. These can be resolved very easily if the couple is mature.
    2. Girls are so selfish these days, they do not want to live with boy's family, if boys insist they file the case........... HELLO, it is not a DOWRY, it is DIS-AGREEMENT. Then the girls knows , "Oh! my father is wealthy and he will take care of me" OK! your father will take care of you.... But father is with political contacts fiel 498a case... wow! what a drama!!!!! is it not mis-use of law.... Hello! wake up India!!! If we want to make women strong that does not mean we have to make our men terrorrists and criminal.
    I am running late...... WIll post rest of my comments later

    Posted 6 years ago #
  12. smi
    Member

    Dr Dsouza,
    I'm from your Neighboring district. That is Mangalore. A true and 100% Mangalorean, but settled in Bangalore due to work and family. Just some time back read this on internet -
    http://www.mumbaimirror.com/index.aspx?page=article&sectid=2&contentid=200902152009021503375649a591ab00
    Dear Lawvictim,
    I agree with you. most of the girls do not wish to stay with in- laws because of fear or insecurity. In India each family is different. I might not have grown up in the same way you have grown up. When marriage takes place ( especially in arranged marriage) for initial few months everyone will slog to get a costumed and adjust to new family. It takes some time for them to adjust to the new family.
    In simple way I can say that In- laws will have their own way of living and newly married girl may not like to follow what they do. This may lead to misunderstanding and loss of peace of mind. Instead of living in tension every day don’t you think it is better to live separately and stay connected?
    I’m just saying my opinion. You are free to express yours!

    Posted 6 years ago #

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