I am a woman. Had dreams of a lovely husband and in laws--was a very sensitive and giving at a point of time....But I am emotionally strong now and will definitely use laws to my favor.
I was working in India...married an NRI...got dowry with m...and respected and loved his family and him. Few months down the line I realised that I was in a bad relation. My dowry was used for buying properties in my in laws names, while I wasn't given any clue of it. My husband gave me basic food, clothing and shelter.....but I had no say in financial matters..and all extra money he had beyond basic needs, was given to his family back home india to buy properties for in-laws...I wasn't respected at all..and my parents had no respect in his eyes...whom he felt free to call names in front of me, and ofcours he had romantic links, whom he didn't marry coz his parents had asked him to marry me, but ofcours he never forgot those romantic links..
In response, I reacted, shouted, cried...very much like the "bad wife" who has been described here in the threads. I stopped calling up or paying visits to his parents..and fought like a warrior with him...to no avail ofcours!!......He and his family in response tried to make me sign a divorce paper in US which said there was no alimony to, no property earned,and they owe me nothing. I refused to sign that paper because I think I deserved alimony.
Anyways, I had a job in India, which I had left during marriage......here I am on a dependent visa and I am not allowed to work coz of US laws....Anyways I still took a job for some little cash and started saving that money...and tried to focus on studies amidst all the ****. I did housework....expected him to help me occasionally, coz I work a lot. But he refused. In India too, his mom wanted me to do all the housework when I'd be at their home, but here-I refused...not directly ofcours..I am not rude to elders....but I dont take crap from anyone....!...
He has told me clearly that he will save money only for his parents.....we will not even buy a house for us with his money..and if I want to have a child, I should from my end work on "improving" relationship with his parents and be humble with him..My rights are limited to only receiving maintenance, that too if I take the charge of all housework...and my studies are not his problem.So I am supposed to study, do ALL the housework, spend holidays mainly doing housework for his parents....act according to their wishes....only THEN I am entitled to basic maintenance and a child (I am 30-31 years old).
NOW...I am a rebel.....I have decided to pursue my studies full fledged--I want to be a trader in wall street and I am working hard towards it..... I have REFUSED to do house work for him or his parents......and have told him....that he is supposed to give me maintenance till 3 years till I am done with my studies--whether he wants to give me a divorce or not is his problem.......but till 3 years he HAS to provide me food and shelter.(I am taking care of my education with the cash I saved)...In addition if he wants divorce he HAS to return my dowry money with interest ofcours.....along with 3 years of maintenance!!....In case he wants me to do the duties of wife my conditions are clear ........I need him to provide a home for me (I mean pay 50% of it...I'll take care of the rest), have a child with me without putting conditions of being a doormat to his family.....and I will do housework if he shares not equal, but atleast portion of it-given that I have other work too!! My condition to be proactive in developing relationship with his parents is clear--they need not give me taunts...and he can occasionally call my parents too and give them some respect, atleast on their birthdays!!
My inlaws and my husband are close to hating me for this....and I care a ****..I have my focus, life and priorities clear!!
So I am that "bad wife" who refuses to do housework, refuses be a nice daughter in law, wants a decent financial security for herself before any money is sent to his parents....I will claim maintenance inspite of all this...and all the advocates of "men's rights" and those who dislike women fighting and using laws to their benfits...come argue with me!!