MyNation Foundation Forum » Miscellaneous » Marital Problems

MARRIAGE LIFE AND PROBLEMS

(43 posts)
  1. PADMA
    Member

    i dont wish to proceed legally by any force or my self,,, because i love him a lot and dont want to spoil his future even if he spoils my life....thank you..

    Posted 8 years ago #
  2. james
    Member

    Hi Padma,
    My best wishes to you. put in your best efforts. please understand that you are not doing any favour to any one. its your life. you got to decide what's best for you. Please do not hesitate if you have to involve your parents. there is nothing wrong. we all make mistakes. Should we run away? Is that the solution?

    But this does not mean someone can hurt you or abuse you.

    I am in USA and i dont mind talking to you if you need any help. email me at james.3iii at yahoo.com with your number and time to call. But all in all, my only aim is to save a family from falling apart. I may not be able to answer all your questions., but i promiss to try my best.

    Regards,
    James.

    Posted 8 years ago #
  3. ADMIN
    Key Master

    We the Members of Mynation always support, guide to solve family Problems amicably

    We never support Divorce, Single parent or family breakups like Other Feminists Organisations. Anyone can check other women sites, they streightaway say go for divorce.

    Divorce is not Solution for anyone Problems.

    PADMA if you need any help guiding or talking to your husband, let us know.

    HAPPY MARRIED LIFE. and Best of Luck.

    498A CRUSADER
    MYNATION.NET
    SUPARI.ORG
    Posted 8 years ago #
  4. Rajat
    Member

    Padmaji,

    Based on the way you wrote your posts it seems that you are very very confused.
    You are trying to connect dots based on small incidents, which are common in every marriage.
    I advice you to take deep breathe and stay cool. Panic will invite more trouble.

    You must clearly define "torture". There many forms of torture.
    In many instances a simple feeling being nagged or used by some one considered as torture.

    Ignore small episodes such as six cds.

    Keep communicating with him by means of letters, mail and telephone. Use sweet words and low voice.

    Give him time. Do not involve your brother, sister and parents to talk to him. Please try to involve third party.

    I wish you best of luck!

    Posted 8 years ago #
  5. PADMA
    Member

    THANK U MR.JAMES, MR.RAJAT, AND ADMIN , I have understood the facts and wish to go a head with all ur advice i.e to stay cool, and give my husband time and convey him how much i love and can do any thing for him in life. iam really feeling better after all ur suggessions and wish i improve in all spears of life. kindly keep in touch...

    Posted 8 years ago #
  6. PADMA
    Member

    IN FACT MY HUSBAND IS CONFUSED TO TAKE A RIGHT DECESION, HE IS WITH HIS FAMILY A BIG FAMILY, HIS PARENTS BRO -COSISTER, SIS-HER HUSBAND- AUNT UNCLE THEIR CHILDREN, AND SO ON. AND A AUNTY WOH HAS NO WORK SHE IS A WIDOW-HER DAUGHTER IS DIVORCEE, AND THERE IS WERE MY HUBBY ALWAYS USED TO GO SIT I DONT DOUBT ON MY HUBBY HE IS A VERY GOOD MAN I TRUST HIM THEY DONT HAVE BETTER WORK. ALL FEEL SINCE HE WENT AGAINST ALL AND MARRIED ME THAT TO IN TEMPLE I WILL DOMINATE HIM, HE WILL GO AWAY FROM ALL. SO ALL CAME IN A NICE WAY AFTER MARRIAGE AND FILLING HIS HEAD DO TIS DO THAT, KEEP UR WIFE IN CONTROL ETC. WHICH I ALWAYS FELT IN HIS WORDS.. SINCE I NO HIM A LOT. ALL THESE UNNESSARY WORDS ARE FROM HIS FAMILY I CAN GUESS AND CONFIRM.. I FEEL HE CHANGED A LOT. KEEPING HIS FAMILY. I WISH HE IS LIKE BEFORE. he always says respect in society people ect.. ya its also important but wife and her happiness is more important dont u people feel. i arranged money and wanted him to take me out of station on birthaday, he says if we go his parents and bro ect will feel bad that we are poor and we are going for trip.. this is the most one which hurted me.. how to make him understand, its our life iam his wife love he sholud care me that to is only few months of marriage..

    Posted 8 years ago #
  7. PADMA
    Member

    if a person truely loves he will do any thing in life for his love in my case he loved me faced against his family married and now listents to his family and hurts me how to make him understand his behivour hurts me a lot..littel thing in life i need his care his approval to do and make me feel happy, i should not were chappls at home sice i was sick with cold, his sis once told he dint allow me to e=were do u think he will allow to were . keeping this in mind he feels his sis will insult him if i were. what is all tis.. if i ask he feel angry.. same as keeping a maid. that too in my =earnings 200 rs is not a big deal.. he hates coz his mom was opposing my co- sister having maid at home if i do the same she will insult him,. being a husband he should no my problem thats y i used to talk and fight for it. is that my mistke tell me.

    Posted 8 years ago #
  8. Padma, if you feel that matters aor differences are of that nature that they can be resolved by communication, go for it and resolve them for the sake of your lives. By all means, if he is abusive and not willing to continue, only you will not be able to make the relationship work in long term. So, just take a firm stand and decide for yourself.

    On a personal opinion, I would suggest not to go for litigations as this will only spoil your life and that of your children and will leave you penniless (this is what they are for). So, as a human being I would advice you to recover from this as early as possible and be self dependent. It is said that God helps those who help themselves and you will agree to the same one day if you try helping yourself getting out of this mess.

    If both of you wish to get separated, you can always go for it through non litigation means by mutual consent.

    Wishing you all the best ... and hope you are able to clear up all confusions and take a good stand which can improve your life and that of your children.

    Our Abode : http://mynation.net/
    http://misuseoflaw.wordpress.com/
    Those that have so much power over others as to be able to oppress them have seldom so much over themselves as not to oppress. --Matthew Henry
    Posted 8 years ago #
  9. I forgot to add ... please avoid accusing his sis for everything. By all means one should not state things like "his sis gave them those CDs" .. this is absolutely not possible ... Please keep the matters limited to you and your husband and don't add his family members into the mess .....

    Let me also add that brothers and sisters are the same for everyone, do keep yourself in her **** and decide if you can tolerate such indecent allegations from your brother's wife ...

    Our Abode : http://mynation.net/
    http://misuseoflaw.wordpress.com/
    Those that have so much power over others as to be able to oppress them have seldom so much over themselves as not to oppress. --Matthew Henry
    Posted 8 years ago #
  10. PADMA
    Member

    HI , RAJSREE , THANKS FOR UR REPLY, AS U SAID (please avoid accusing his sis for everything. By all means one should not state things like "his sis gave them those CDs" .. this is absolutely not possible ...) THIS IS WHAT SHE AND HER HUSBAND DID THEY BROUGHT THE CDS WITH PLAYER TO MY HOUSE . iam not telling its their mistake or my husbands mistake.. i felt its a **** work what all the three have done. as i said my husband watching naked girls let me be clear its not about man and women have x. my husband watching such things hurted me i was angry i dint speak a word he him self started stating that " what ur angry if u dont like all this go sit in room" its all common when i told its a **** work he kicks me back. dont u think this is sick.
    i am feeling bad being sis she encourages bro and gets all this home to watch. dont u think she is a **** girl. more over they act they family is very respect ful. u tell me all tis is good.u no my mistake is i feel bad i talk against such nasty things in his family. i speak truth wich has no value always. i need to sit back and watch then iam the best person in his family. no matter what they do. since i love my husband i just want to protect him from such **** world. make him realise that it hurts my feelings. husband wife is a pure relation ship. god has give pleasures between us, instead i feel being man every amn should no tis.

    Please keep the matters limited to you and your husband and don't add his family members into the mess .....

    Please keep the matters limited to you and your husband and don't add his family members into the mess .....
    yes i realised tis that duscussing such matters with others wil give way for my husbands insult in turn my insult.

    as all u people said i have relaised were to talk what to talk were to stop. now just waiting to get back to my husband and start a new life. thank you

    and being a good sis i never interfere in my bros personal life. i no its his life i can only guide him if he need a help and being a women i wolud take his wife side first and think and talk and suggest were he goes wrong. women have to be respected same as men. there are some men who really do respect women and be happy.

    i dont say women are perfect in my matter i talk because he hurts me my feelings , i make him realise and fall down. tis is what happenes always. recently he went to his mom because i told i shall not cook if he always sits in his aunts house. he dose not realise why iam stopping him he dont have patients to listen even if i explain. i dont no why he is like tis after marriege. before that he used to be so patient . but one thing truely i can say after marriage due to his family members he has got this changes. they always say i wil be like elder co sis, i will were jeans , i wil get servant, i will were chappls at home, i will boss him. all tis is put in his mind by his family so he stops me whcih i no. if i talk he dont want any explaination. being in love and love marriage and staying seperatly any husband why he would stop his wife with such silly requests of mine. tell me. its clear he is afraid were his family will laugh at him if he allows mwe to do all this.

    Posted 8 years ago #
  11. ADMIN
    Key Master

    PADMA;
    You may think husband watching XXX movies wrong, but men do not think so, they enjoy watching it as you women watch soap opera on ZEE/sony and enjoy.

    I can say, those x Cds are better than those love stories / saan bahu fights. Most of these Hindi TV serials shows, married women having extra marital Affair , husband found out wife Pre marital affair, or Husband is having Affair in office.bla bla.

    I know many wives enjoy watching these X CDs along with husband, and doing something in it for mutual satisfaction. thats why KAMASUTRA was written, thats oldest sex manual as per my knowledge, thats from India, so acting like sati savitri will not work in marriage.

    In India most of the marriges are ends because of SEX problems, only next to mutual understanding.

    498A CRUSADER
    MYNATION.NET
    SUPARI.ORG
    Posted 8 years ago #
  12. Padma, I know its difficult, but actually not impossible to get rid of the horrible past. As I said (and infact you agreed), please take a firm stand. You are a human being and you do have the right to live a peaceful life. As a female and as a well wisher I would suggest you to keep courage and take a stand (either communicate with him to resolve tha matters, or break off from the relationship in a peaceful manner).

    God will help you in taking a decision which will make your life. And then, with your inner courage you should support that decision and free yourself from theese ghosts and problems of the past... believe me, one can always rise from the ashes and there are many people like you who have risen very high after difficult times in life ...

    Wishing you all the best .....

    Our Abode : http://mynation.net/
    http://misuseoflaw.wordpress.com/
    Those that have so much power over others as to be able to oppress them have seldom so much over themselves as not to oppress. --Matthew Henry
    Posted 8 years ago #

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